A Woman Walks Into a Genius Bar...
Finds herself a seat at the bar and is served by humbots. (humans who are progressively becoming more robotic) Yes, I just made this word up. But it’s true at Apple’s “Genius” Bar there is not a whole lot of swagga going on, let alone emotional connections to the bar’s patrons. As in a simple “OMG or OMFG I’m so sorry I erased all your Outlook data – contacts, emails, etc,” response. Or I how about “I apologize, I have no idea how this happened, even I, a supreme Apple humbot, made an error.” Or wait – how about like in the old days of warm fuzzy human–like connections that entailed feelings (yes feelings) something like, “if we cannot solve this issue we’d be happy to compensate you for our mistakes.”
But alas, no. As in a dream on no. Apparently humbots are incapable of sincerity, or connecting on a feeling level. They are among the entitled working for one of the most impressive corporations in the world. No apology required. We the ordinary human consumer, are fortunate to have their product, regardless if it comes with an error, a glitch, or malfunction.
I was forced to visit an Apple store recently first to make an appointment as my iPhone 6 refused to update and I was not able to make an appointment with their app or online, Mon Dieu! They were scheduling about a week out. The day of my appointment I arrive on time at 4:1opm and waited for 20 minutes before I was served. I suggested they put in a cappuccino bar that also included tea and gluten-free muffins and I believe a saw a humbot raise an eyebrow to my comment.
The 20 minute wait was insignificant to the subsequent 5 hours I spent at the Genius Bar that afternoon/evening which in turn sent me home with all my Outlook data/emails and contacts erased and my iPhone glitch still not addressed or fixed. Whaaaaaat?
Apple insisted on backing up my phone with my computer before they attempted to fix my phone.
OK.
We had to make more room on my computer.
Fine. I brought my external hard drive.
The humbot without asking moi decided to give my computer a software update to whatever animal is next on their list.
Hmmm, why don’t I feel good about this?
After the update is complete the computer asks if it should rebuild my contacts and Outlook. (FYI throughout my time at the bar I repeatedly requested for the humbot serving me to stay away from my Outlook – they are after all not equipped to service this antiquated enterprise.)
Again without asking me, the humbot in a flash hit yes rebuild.
I felt nervous, but OK.
And viola, all of my Outlook was erased.
At this point I have already spent about 3 and a half hours at the Genius Bar, I am interrupted, put on hold, left to wonder WTF do all the humbots do behind the bar door that they all take turns disappearing to?
AND
I learned that apparently the humbot servers are forbidden to spend more than 10 minutes with each patron at a time and have to go visit other patrons then come back to the patrons they began working with – yeah it’s frustrating. Anyhow the humbot goes to work, not looking me in the eye, just attempting to retrieve my data. I am there for another hour and a half. The mall is closing.
I ask, but why can’t you just use my external hard drive to put my Outlook back on my MacBook Air Outlook? I’m told without them looking up from my computer screen that for some reason, it is not recognizing it.
Seriously?
I am also told if I want I can make another appointment and they can continue to try to “rebuild.”
There is no acknowledgement of what went down. There is no acknowledgement that it was on them, there is no mention that my phone has yet to be ‘fixed’, there is no apology, and there is no human connection. I remain calm and find myself staring at and emoting for this oblivious Spock-like humbot, for what I witnessed after spending 5 hours at the Genius Bar was far larger and much more dire than me losing my data.
Stay True
M